I Never

i never knew how to make a man earn my love
all he had to do was cherish my physique
in that i would find a reason to hold on despite the fallacy that courting for love and lust alone may bring
but laden became my loving heart with unrest that i just may have closed myself to the love i have never been given by anyone
i never thought i could feel like this
i never thought i would come to this reality because as an adolescent my love was clothed like a church angel in waiting for a dashing fantasy to sweep my love away into an unfleshly place where we could both live in eternal ecstasy
i never knew what real love was
even after i defined foolish love i still held on to mines with the hope that my truth would overshadow a dark heart in search of a place to rest
i never knew life could come to this: a meaty substance in need of disentanglement and a silky existence
i never knew a lot of things
and now i'm starting to find out...what it's all about

-Poeticca